Three Ways To Help Your Kids Engage With God
Currently, we are in a twenty-one day season of prayer as a church. These moments provide a tremendous opportunity to engage your child or young person in your spiritual journey.
So often, parents are intimidated to engage with their kids spiritually. They may want to leave spiritual training to the "experts"; their children's pastor or youth pastor. While parents may not know where to begin, it's good to remember that spiritual development is not as much about imparting theological knowledge as it is about sharing your spiritual journey with someone.
Jesus' method of discipleship was to be WITH his followers. His influence on them was more than just His teachings. It was about His passions; His dreams; His struggles; and the powerful way He asked questions.
With that in mind, here are a few ways to engage your kids:
#1 - IT'S ABOUT THE PASSION WE SHARE
As a boy, I inherited my dad's passion for the Pittsburgh Steelers. I will never forget sitting around the TV and hearing him yell out in frustration or celebration over what was happening in the game. These were precious moments we shared together.
In a similar way, my dad and mom shared their passion for God. They took me to church, and as a boy I would often sit in the pews in "big church" and play with my matchbox cars. But I noticed them pouring out their hearts in worship: my mom's hands were raised and my dad, kneeling in prayer.
Many times my father would come home sharing a story about someone he led to Christ, or someone he prayed for who was healed. Obviously, he was a pastor but I think that even if he had been a truck driver or a professor, it would have felt the same in seeing him pursue God.
If serving God excites you; if you ever pause in wonder at God's creation or are overcome with thanksgiving for how He delivered you from something in the past, you need to share that with your children.
Passion for God is contagious.
#2 - IT'S ABOUT THE STRUGGLES WE BEAR
Again, engaging your kids in your spiritual journey is something that everyone can do. It's not just for mature Christians. It's for us all. In fact, one of the most profound things to share is how God is helping you through your own struggles.
One of the things my dad did was apologize well. When he was frustrated or harsh with me, even in small ways, he would always apologize later. Then he would say, "I am asking God to help me with my temper." It wasn't an excuse for bad behavior, it was a genuine desire for change.
A foundational experience for my children happened with our family vacations. We wanted to take our family away for a week together but as the family grew, it became more and more expensive. Melodie began praying with the youngest two, Jonathan and Caleb every night, as she prayed with them before bed: "God, would You provide a place for us to go on vacation?" They prayed this simple prayer for close to a year and then one day, a family from church offered for us to use their vacation home near the beach in Florida. When Mel shared this with my two boys it had an impact! "God answered our prayers!" they exclaimed. Out of our need came a spiritual moment.
Sometimes, even as a pastor, I have questions about life or theology. When my kids were teenagers, we started to talk about some of the larger questions of life. I would ask their opinion. I would share what I understood. As they grew into young adults, we would sometimes read a book that was interesting or watch a video on YouTube. We might talk about something positive, like a powerful sermon I heard, or discuss something shocking, like a celebrity saying something that was theologically off or anti-Christian. These moments led to incredible discussions about what we truly believe.
#3 - IT'S ABOUT THE HABITS WE WEAR
Finally, I think we need to include our kids in our spiritual habits. I was affected more by the discipline of my parents' regular weekly church attendance as a priority, than I was by any one particular sermon or service. Often we are looking for a mega spiritual moment to change our kids but typically, it's the cumulative effect of long-term discipline that makes the biggest difference. The mega moments at retreats and camps are sparks. But the regular habits build the foundation.
When you get up in the morning to have your personal devotions, your kids notice.
When they find you writing in your journal, your kids notice.
When you take some time to fast and challenge yourself to go after God, your kids notice.
When you set aside some time for spiritual solitude, and explain it to your children, your kids notice.
When you don't do anything spiritually, your kids notice.
Following Christ is not something your kids will do because you tell them to do it. It's something that they might do because they catch you doing it, and want to join you in your spiritual journey.
It's not too late to start being intentional about bringing your kids along for the ride as your journey toward Christ.