How Do I Measure Me? Success? Effectiveness?
When my kids were growing up, we had their names and growth marks with dates on the wall in the basement. It was a fun event as we marked how much they had each grown in the past year and a huge celebration when they were finally tall enough to ride certain rides at Kennywood Park!
I think the desire to measure ourselves is something that never really goes away. As we grow older, we stop measuring physical progress (though I still battle the numbers on the scale) and our focus shifts to personal progress and success.
Am I successful?
Is my life counting for something?
Am I parenting well?
What about my leadership? Am I leading well?
For pastors and church leaders we may ask:
How is my ministry doing?
Should it be bigger? Better? More effective?
Am I somehow inadequate? Ineffective?
These questions are intensely personal and incredibly sensitive. I know! I also know that comparison is a trap. Paul says it in 2 Corinthians 10:12, "When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." I think we all get this concept. Instagram comparison is toxic. Looking at someone else's 'highlight reel' is a recipe for depression, especially when the movie in your head about yourself is of your life's worst moments.
However, it is a healthy practice to evaluate yourself from time to time and to ask: How am I measuring up?
Am I growing?
Am I successful?
Am I doing all that I am supposed to be doing with my life?
In God's eyes, am I failing? What about in my own eyes?
Measuring ourselves is not a simple equation. It involves a number of factors that help us see ourselves properly.. There is no simple scale or measuring stick that applies to us all. God has designed us each with a specific design in mind, and has deposited in us unique gifts, talents, life circumstances, and experiences. We need to ask the right questions in the evaluation process:
#1 - WHAT IS MY CAPACITY?
In Matthew 25, Jesus tells the parable of the talents. An estate owner invites his employees into a share-holder opportunity. He invites three of his employees to help him manage his funds while he is away. To one he gave five talents, which was a specific amount of gold. To the other he gave two talents. To the third he gave only one talent.
“After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’ His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.,“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
Now, before we get to the third employee with just the one talent, let's look at the standard by which God judged. The guy who started with five, ended up with ten. The guy who started with two, ended up with four. But God’s evaluation and commendation of both was exactly the same. In this case, ten was the same as four to God! It wasn't the amount that God was looking at, it was aptitudes. Both employees showed stewardship stills. They invested what they had faithfully and skillfully, and they reproduced what they had.
You can never get an accurate gauge on how well you are doing by looking at the size and scope of what someone else is doing. You can only ask the question, “How have I done with what I have been given?” This is all that God asks of you as well.
#2 - WHAT IS MY CONTEXT?
The second factor that we need to consider when we are evaluating ourselves is the context of where we have been planted. So much of what I do has to do with coaching pastors and church planters. Often, these pastors are trapped by comparisons. Most of those I coach live in the northeastern United States, which is probably the most dechurched/unchurched regions of the country.
When they go through the training to plant a church, they are often exposed to the success stories of those who have planted in the southeast or in Texas or the midwest. Bible belt areas have a traditionally high percentage of people who attend church on a weekend. Many of the cities down south are increasing a huge population growth in their cities or regions. People are moving in, buying houses, and looking for a good church to attend.
Now, what I am about to say is a bit dangerous. I am not trying to give people in challenging contexts an excuse to rely upon. Nor am I proposing that the long-term dream of vision of your life or ministry be diminished by defeatism that comes with hardship. I believe in breakthrough faith!!! But I also know that we often have to modify our expectations in terms of speed, or immediate size or success by the context where we live. There is often a need to modify our expectations based on the people we are with at the moment.
When I first became the pastor at Allison Park Church, the church I led was coming out of a time of tension, division, and turbulence. Our congregation had shrunk and morale was low. What they needed from me during the first five years was not big vision, it was a big heart. They needed a pastor who would listen, learn about them, and love them.
Eventually, we would do big things together by planting churches and giving to Kingdom Builders. But at the beginning, my context required me to measure success by pastoral measures, not performance oriented ones.
Was the presence of God increasing in our gatherings?
Were they starting to trust each other again?
Were people laughing and having fun again?
Was there evidence of healing and unity?
So the second question is this: What does your context require for you to measure accurately?
#3 - HOW IS MY CHARACTER?
A third question is not really so much, “How am I doing?” but rather, 'What am I becoming?”
We can all tell a story about someone we know who was wildly successful outwardly. They made a lot of money. They built a great business or established a huge thriving ministry. Everyone was talking about this phenomenon in the leadership world. They became influencers with huge followings on social media and became the sages of strategy and advice at all of the conferences.
Let it be said that many leaders who succeed wildly do so without any compromise in character. Often their success is rooted, not just in their skill, talent and ability, but also in the foundation of Christ-like character. But there are some leaders who have built something great who are arrogant, mean, filled with ambition, shallow, superficial, and less than admirable in their personal dealings with people.
I have heard people who host these larger conferences tell me, "Too many of the recognizable names are powerful presenters on stage but prima donnas off the stage." You can actually be effective and successful in building an organization or leading a massive church and yet look less and less like Jesus.
Maybe you have heard it said, "Who you are is more important than what you do.”
#4 - WHAT IS MY CALLING?
I find that this last word that we will use to define measurements is an interesting word. When we think of the word “calling” we tend to think of vocation, career, and direction, but ultimately you can't have a call without Someone doing the calling. It implies that there is a Designer out there who is giving voice to you, speaking to you, clarifying and inviting you into what you were destined to do and be.
God has designed you for specific purposes. He has someplace specific for you to be, and something specific for you to do. Your purpose and calling has to do with the gifts he has deposited in you and the burdens for people and problems that He has birthed within your soul. If you listen, it also has to do with steps He wants you to take right now. There are goals He wants you to pursue over the next few days, weeks, months or years.
The question of measurement in this regard is this: Have I been faithful to do what God has asked me to do?
Perhaps the best question we can ask moving forward is not just, “How have I done so far?” but rather, “What am I supposed to be doing next?” That's where the freedom and clarity come from. Knowing what's next is so much better than simply judging what has been. Ultimately, God will one day judge what has been done. But we can transform our entire way of thinking if we stay faithful to do what God is asking us to do right now.
These four questions can become the tools we use to evaluate our progress and measure ourselves with a healthy perspective.